Hope for the dead.
Today feels harder to bear with more than any other day since April. I question the reason behind the constant memories running through my head. I lay awake all night, all morning just thinking about him. His smile, as if insults were never spat through his lips. His arms, as if he never laid a finger on me. His kisses; As if he never gave them to someone else. I question my value and self love due to the feelings attached to the thought of him. Still hoping to find the love I felt whenever he'd assure me that he'd never leave. I wonder through the possibilities of ever feeling that way towards someone else, when all my heart desires is for our reconciliation, his apology and regret showing I was indeed the love of his life. I wonder how I'd feel then. Knowing there were many in between. I torment my fragile mind at this very moment not knowing Gods plan for him and I. If there will ever be again... I know better. At least I thought I did. I push through the storm ...